Getting healthy: The struggle is real.

Bonjour, beauties! I hope all of you are doing well and wonderful, and I want to wish a very happy Mother’s Day to all the mothers out there! It’s not an easy job, but somebody has to do it! I hope your little ones (or grown ones) have managed to put a smile on your face today. 🙂

It’s been a while since my last *real* post and I’ve been sort of struggling with what to write about since the majority of my makeup still has yet to be unpacked and I still don’t have my vanity set up for photos (yeah, pure laziness). But today, I’m going to talk about a topic that’s been bothering me for some time now, something I’ve been struggling with for a couple of years – my weight gain and the struggle to get healthy.

I’ve been wanting to write about this for a while, but I guess I just wasn’t ready yet. It’s still not something I’m completely comfortable talking about, but the fact is it’s a problem in my life and I can’t ignore it. I figured I could share this with all of you.

I’m not going to go in-depth about obesity rates and unhealthy living because I’m not an expert. All I know (as I think we all do) is that it’s a widespread problem that people everywhere are struggling with. I’ve struggled with my weight before, this isn’t the first time. I’ve never been a super *skinny* girl, except during my early childhood years. Never had a high metabolism. I need to keep a very close eye on what I eat if I want to maintain my weight. During the ages of 17-19 I gained quite a lot of weight and then ended up losing it all and then some – 40 pounds, to be exact. That was the thinnest I had every been in my adult-life. I would give anything to be back to that weight again. I was healthy, at least weight-wise. Since then, my weight has fluctuated up and down, mostly up, but not to an unhealthy level – and not enough to where I was super bothered by it. I was comfortable with myself.

Fast forward to a couple of years ago, where soon after getting married, I started to balloon. I became quite comfortable with marriage quite quickly and had no motivation to work out. Well, every little (or large in my case) bit of food adds up and I’m now 70 pounds overweight, the largest I’ve ever been in my entire life. I feel so many feelings; ashamed, embarrassed, disgusted… I can’t stand looking at myself in the mirror because it’s a constant reminder of what I’ve let myself become. When I say this, I mean it. I am not comfortable in any way with my weight, I don’t feel like I could live the rest of my life like this, it’s just not worth it to me to feel this way. And it’s not good for my health. Yet after every attempt to start working out and eating healthy, I’ve failed. Every. Single. Attempt. There have been several failed attempts to lose weight over the past couple of years. I would think that with being so disappointed and disgusted with my looks and my health, thinking about it constantly, I’d finally make a change once and for all, but I don’t. When someone is unhappy with something in their life, they fix it. I feel like I can’t. I cannot push myself, I cannot get motivated enough, I ALWAYS give up. No matter how much I hate my body, I couldn’t be more unmotivated. I fail every single time. Why? It doesn’t make any sense.

I know I’ve mainly been talking about my weight, but what concerns me even more this time around is my health. I had a serious health issue last year (completely unrelated to my weight struggle, but somehow I feel like it contributed to it) and even though it’s resolved now, because of it, I really need to stay as healthy as possible. I’ve been doing the complete opposite. I can’t tell you why. No matter how concerned I am that the issue could come back, no matter how many days I’ve said to myself, “I really need to exercise today” I just don’t do it. And then I get upset that I wasted time NOT doing it, so I eat… and eat… and eat. I tell myself, “I’ll start tomorrow, so this will be my last “binge”. But then I do it all over again the next day. I don’t feel sorry for myself, because I know I got myself here. I am, however, extremely disappointed in myself. I wish there were a simple answer, a simple solution, a simple way to MAKE me do what I need to do.

I’m once again attempting to start a workout routine and start some healthy eating habits. I actually just started yesterday! A couple of months ago, one of my girlfriends told me about the Bikini Body Mommy Challenge (if you’re interested in checking that out, you can learn more about it here). It’s a 90 day challenge created by a gal who wanted to get back into shape after having her last child. The entire series of videos can be found on YouTube, so it’s completely free, which is pretty amazing. I believe she also has a book and meal plans of some sort, but I haven’t really checked all of that out. My friend is a bit past day 30 and has already lost 13 inches and around 8-9 pounds, so I know if I keep at this that I will see results. Actually, I always know I’ll see results, but I never continue working out long enough to see them. They never come fast enough, do they? I’m really hoping and praying that I will be able to hop on the bandwagon and actually stay on it this time. My health is really at stake here. I thought about posting photos on my blog to track my progress, but I just don’t have the guts to do it. Although I think if I actually did, I would feel extreme pressure to keep going because there’s no escaping that once it’s up there. I would have to keep at it because if not, not only would I see my failure, but everyone else would see it as well. Still, with all that said, I don’t think I’m ready to do that. Maybe once I get further along if I actually stick to it and make visible progress, I’ll post pictures from the beginning and then continue to post pictures of my on-going progress, but right now I’m honestly just way too self conscious about it.

Well guys, that’s my story for today. Like I said, this is something that weighs very heavy on my mind so I’d really like to talk about it with any of you who may be struggling as well. Maybe you were struggling with it before, maybe you have a success story to share. What works for you? What didn’t work for you? I would really love to hear your input and feedback.

I’m going to leave off with a quote I saw the other day, on Instagram I believe… These words are truly inspiring and couldn’t be more true.

A year from now you will wish you had started today Karen Lamb

Advertisements

11 thoughts on “Getting healthy: The struggle is real.

  1. Great post, I know exactly how you feel. I have always struggled with my weight and can never get motivated to exercise anymore. I eat healthy like 80% of the time but I generally just eat too much food so portion control is my big issue (and cheese and chocolate addictions!). I wish I could find something to keep me motivated to reach my goals and not give up half way through. Very inspiring quote that one 🙂

    Like

    • At least you’re eating mainly healthy! Portion control is also a huge issue with me. I eat out of boredom, I’m snacking CONSTANTLY on cookies and candy, it’s extremely unhealthy. I stuff and stuff my face before my body gets a chance to feel full from all the junk. I know in the past when I stuck to a healthy regimen I actually got full a lot faster – I think my body kind of got trained to eat NORMAL amounts of food, so I really couldn’t over-eat. Motivation is key – maybe if you found someone who could hold you accountable, that would help? I’m hoping to meet some people around here soon. I think having a buddy to hold me accountable could really help me in this situation.

      Like

  2. We have a lot in common girl, we are are beauty bloggers and struggling to be healthy. But don’t be to hard on yourself, it took me years to get the frame of mind I have today. But being that I wanted it so bad, I never give up even if I have a bad week or month I kept on going. The important thing is to never give up, don’t give up on yourself you deserve better, we all do. You truly motivated me to keep on going, and if things get hard we have to fight them to get better. Don’t ever think you are a failure, the fact that you really want to change it’s already a great start. If you ever need me, you know where to find me girl 🙂 xxx

    Like

    • Thank you so much, I’ll definitely be heading to your blog often for inspiration 🙂 Getting healthy isn’t easy, but we all HAVE to do it to better ourselves so I really have to try my hardest to not give up this time even when I fall down again! I’m trying to get your frame of mind 🙂 xx

      Like

  3. Why do I feel like you were inside my head. I have been working out for weeks and during the week I eat great, but once the weekend comes, there are too many opportunities for me to cheat. And that’s what I end up doing. This past week was the worst for me. I ate whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted and in the back of my mind I knew I it was bad, but I was just tired. But here I am, starting over because I am truly unhappy and it is the worst feeling ever. I entered a depression state last night, but I knew I had no one to blame but myself. I commend you on sharing your story and what I am doing now is evaluating myself, and deciding what it is that I want for myself and my life. I also made a vision board of pictures found on social media of fit people and I place it by my tv so that I can constantly look at it and keep my goal in sight.

    Like

    • Yes, I truly believe food is our worst enemy. I’m convinced there’s something they’re putting in fatty/sugary foods to keep us addicted because it shouldn’t be this hard to break away! Why aren’t we naturally addicted to healthy foods? I’m glad you haven’t given up. The vision board is a really good idea! There are so many girls whose bodies I sort of envy, so I think I’ll make one too! It’ll be a really good reminder. Keep up the good work, and good luck! If you need anyone to talk to when you hit a rough patch, I’m always here 🙂 I know it’s not easy.

      Like

  4. Aw just take it step by step and keep going. The most important thing I find is to not be too strict on myself. I don’t let a binge or that chocolate bar that I had yesterday get me down. Instead, I try to work out as often as I can and try to watch what I eat most days. I lost 25 pounds 5 years ago and still fit into the new clothes I bought back then, despite the fact that I have gained 15 or so pounds back.

    Just do what you can and don’t be too hard on yourself. At least, that’s how it works for me. Because then I get into the: oh I’ll start tomorrow mindset and that just never happens. One binge doesn’t make a real difference, so you need to keep getting at it and realize there will be good days and bad ones. And when you have a bad day or week: allow yourself that time off. Your results will come more slowly, but you will get there in the end. In fact, the slower you get results the more likely your results are permanent.

    Good luck! I know you can do it!

    Like

    • My friend told me the same thing – don’t diet because you’ll just end up miserable and you’ll quit! I’m trying to incorporate healthier things into my life, but I’m not going to just cut everything out completely. No way I could give up chocolate anyway lol. But that’s all really good advice that I’m going to try to keep in my mind when I’m feeling discouraged and down. Thank you, love! ♥

      Like

  5. Hmm, that’s a good idea too! This weekend, the thought of doing a 5K crept up in my mind. I’ve never had interest in doing one ever, but this weekend I saw an ad for one and I actually thought about doing it. I think this would be a good goal for me later on down the road when I’m in a bit better shape – I can see how that would be a really good motivator 🙂

    Like

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s